


Not so golden showers

by GreenPhoenix



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Community: hannibalkink, Crack, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 19:32:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5714476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenPhoenix/pseuds/GreenPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Team Sassy Science try to throw Will a bachelor party at a strip club. That goes as well as can be expected.<br/>Hannibal has a similar disaster with Chiyoh's help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not so golden showers

"We cordially wish to invite you to the nuptials of count Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham, esq.  
This will take place on june 13th on a location to be disclosed soon.  
Dress code: Formal is requested. Exceptions can be made for members of the Graham family.  
A fabulous meal is guaranteed, and wine of your choice will be served."

“Christ,” said Price. “Look at that.”  
The card had gold lettering on a marble-white background.  
“Pretentious,” said Zeller over a corpse.  
“Classy,” said Beverly. “We need to take Will to a strip club.”  
“Oh God,” said Price. “One with ladies, right? One last chance to see tits. No offense Bev.”  
“None taken. A gay one though?”  
“He’s had ladies,” said Price. “And he’s marrying a guy..”  
“Well,” said Zeller. “Let’s do both.”  
“Genius,” said Beverly. “You’re paying.”  
“He’s marrying a fucking count and I’m paying..”  
“Yes,” said Beverly. “You can find your own sugar daddy.”  
Zeller laughed and then they resumed work.

*  
Chiyoh studied a book on how to hold a bridal shower. “Make paper bridal gowns? What kind of stuff is this?”  
She wanted it to be right for Hannibal, so she had to try.  
She hoped someone else would come.  
Dr Du Maurier had told her she was out of town and Alana Bloom had given her the finger.  
Chiyoh wasn’t good at making female friends, nor male ones when she came to think of it.

*  
Will let himself be dragged to the wonderful establishment Titty Titty Bang Bang.  
It was as classy as its name.  
Will empathized with the voluptuous stripper Cheryl and could not even look at her silicone-enhanced bosom.  
Price looked plenty.  
Beverly looked in her element.  
Will simply looked morose over beer and texted his intended all the time.  
Zeller saw the last text.  
“Miss you. Want to fuck you.”  
He sighed.

*  
“So,” said Chiyoh, “Great turn-up.” It was empty save for her and Hannibal.  
Margot Verger was alphabetizing her vinyl albums.  
Or something.  
“Indeed,” said Hannibal. “What do we do?”  
“We..cut bridal gowns from toilet paper.”  
“Nobody’s wearing a gown. Will will have a white suit and I a black one.”  
“Humor me,” said Chiyoh.  
Hannibal decided to do that.

*  
The gay bar was called Ganymede. It was classier.  
There were well-built hot guys and Beverly had the time of her life.  
Will studied the gorgeous Chip and felt his inner pain at being ogled so he averted his eyes and texted Hannibal.  
Price and Zeller were mistaken for a couple again.  
It happened in many places besides gay bars.

*

“So Hannibal what do you want in a future husband?” asked Chiyoh.  
“That he sees me for what I am.”  
“Do you plan to eat him?”  
“Not this one.”  
“If we toss stones about we can see how many kids you will have..umm.”  
“Let’s not.”  
“You could adopt. Or have a surrogate. Not me obviously.”  
“We already have a daughter.”  
“She’s almost grown.”  
“Let’s play smell what it is when it’s burning,” said Chiyoh. “I brought matches.”  
“I thought you’d never ask. I brought body parts,” said Hannibal.  
“Of course you did.”

*  
“I’m really drunk,” said Beverly as Price led her to a taxi.  
“I’m bored,” said Will. “See you guys.”  
“You are so homespun,” said Price.  
“Yes,” said Will.

*  
Chiyoh almost set fire to a curtain.  
“Well,” said Hannibal. “There’s an emergency.”  
“What? “  
“Will is feeling..amourous..and he’s alone.”  
“Go put out that fire with gasoline,” said Chiyoh.  
He did.

*  
The wedding was fabulous and even dr DuMaurier’s glum face couldn’t make the happy couple less happy.  
The wedding night was as fabulous as well. Golden showers and all. Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt: Before Will and Hannibal get married, Team Sassy Science (up to you whether Katz is alive or not) throw Will a bachelor party. They can't decide if they should take him to a straight strip club or a gay strip club, so settle on one of each. Will hates strip clubs; he can't help empathizing with the dancers and doesn't have a great time.
> 
> Meanwhile Chiyoh throws Hannibal a bridal shower. Nobody else comes so it's just the two of them, but Chiyoh has a book on how to throw a bridal shower and insists on following it to the letter. After several hours of joylessly making bridal gowns out of toilet paper, they give up and fall into their old 'identify what I'm burning on the fire by smell alone' game.


End file.
